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dialectical lesbian's avatar

Wow, a conversation i could hear nowhere else. I loved how you examined the dynamics of people being threatened by unusual women.

The way you called out unsavory behavior rings true. Thank you

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Carol's avatar

Only half way through , but had to 💯👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 you all fucking hit the nail on the head.

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Kath's avatar

I’m glad you’re liking it!! ☺️😄

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Carol's avatar

AK has some issue she needs to sort. Just read the attached screenshots after seeing her in Bucks channel. Some interesting claims made about what I think is this situation.

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Stone Butch Disco's avatar

Yeah, we caught wind of that and have reached out to Buck. He is aware now that he did not have all the facts, so we will see what results from the second recording session

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Carol's avatar

Well I’m no fan of Buck either. Lol I thought they made a perfect fit.

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Emma Farley's avatar

Maybe I just don't know the back story well enough to understand what's going on in the letter.

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Emma Farley's avatar

Did that letter make sense? It seemed to be more just angry yelling than coherent arguments?

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Kath's avatar

Indeed, it did not make sense.

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Jane Doe's avatar

I have been in many heated debates with AK on Twitter over the fact the she was detransitioning in her head space. She kept wanting to say it was because she kept her beard (external factors) when I was stating that it was in her mind set and entire being. I called her out for using the term bearded lesbian because that’s what TiM’s use on Reddit and lesbian dating apps. She couldn’t listen to reason.

My friend’s best friend was stalked online, on apps, emails and phone by her. The only thing she said to AK was NO, not interested. AK didn’t accept the no and escalated to stalker. The trans misogyny and red flag behaviours are concerning to say the least.

Thanks for acknowledging how we RadFems stood up for you after the episode with Carol. I also was standing up for Carol and her experience as a detrans butch lesbian.

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Stone Butch Disco's avatar

I (Rachel) legit did not know about the other use of “bearded lesbian”! I think I’ve seen that before from TiMs but didn’t realize it was a whole trend. Certainly doesn’t seem like a good name for what AK is ostensibly trying to do, then.

I’m sorry your friend had a similar experience with AK. The harassing and online stalking behavior is clear, patterned, and linked to AK’s (and Buck Angel’s, as his recent episode with AK proved) deep-seated belief that trans men are separate and superior to women (especially non-transitioned masculine women), lesbians, and feminism. We have two episodes coming out this week to pinpoint the ideology that can’t be separated from the pattern.

Because this most recent episode was recorded over two years ago now, I don’t remember the specific acknowledgement you mention — but I’m glad to say I have even more RadFem friends now and will always believe there is a core feminism for sex-based rights that we all share, regardless of uncomfortable things that sometimes get said about female masculinity as aping male masculinity. I think we can get beyond that superficial argument pretty easily when we treat masculinity and femininity as shorthand terms for dynamics that develop relationally between women, not in relation to men.

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A Kimberly's avatar

I absolutely did not stalk Holly. I don’t even have her phone number so how the hell did I stalk her by phone? Which “apps”? We had a short but delightful friendship. It was mutually flirtatious, warm and humorous. I thought there was mutual interest as a result. Because of my misread, she blew up. I was hurt and mortified, and because I valued our friendship, I tried a few times to make amends and reparations. She unfortunately seems to have mistook that for continuing to romantically pursue her, and if she had just communicated how she was feeling we could have cleared that up right away rather than drag this whole mess on and on and spread gossip and misinformation. I already feel awful about the whole thing. But some of it is on her too. At no point did she say “I’m not interested in anything romantic” until she blew up months later. I was hurt by that. I respect boundaries when they are communicated. I’m not a mind reader. Stop with the gossipy bullshit.

Her own friends told me she was feeling “a bit smothered” so I backed off and waited 4 months to send one final email to try to repair things with her. No one said anything about “stalking”. If she felt that way, it should have been communicated with me directly, not smear campaigns. Other people’s meddling has made this 100x worse. I’ve lawyered up to put an end to this. I’m sorry it’s come to this. I care about her and meant her no harm. I value her contributions to the movement and hoped for her input into things I’m working on, especially now that I’m entering academia. Damaging my reputation helps no one. Our networks overlap. We have to coexist. I’d prefer peacefully. I won’t contact her again. It’s over. Knock it off. Has nothing to do with "gender" or "misogyny". Those words, when misused, are no better than "transphobia". You're not helping.

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